Category: Uncategorized

  • A published author

    A published author

    There is still this voice that whispers, are you really deserving of this title, so I start to look for all the evidence…

    A thought flooded my awareness over seven years ago as I admiringly held my Dadi and Mom’s published books in my hands- Could I share stories of my own? But first I wanted to cherish every word that would lead me closer to learning more about the two fearless role models in my life, who they were long before their labels of Dadi and Mom. It took time, patience and dedication last summer to translate from Hindi to English. I still haven’t decided an English title that could comprehensively represent Dadi’s book title.

    And just like that this intentionally curated reclamation community project drew me in to speak something that is mine alone. I jumped at the opportunity to create a new ending for my difficult experiences, gaining the tools to direct injustices into art that nourishes impactful change.

    My story “Color me Orange” was born out of a letter I wrote to my younger self. Once I started writing I couldn’t stop telling her that she has always been enough, she belongs to herself first and she has the right to transform as she chooses, not to just serve but to also build.

    This little girl is a writer and so are you.

  • Blooming intentions

    Blooming intentions

    My small and mighty jasmine plant gifted me eight blooms for my birthday this year. Just watching it grow bright green leaves and deeply aromatic ivory flowers fills my heart with so much joy. I could dance around my living room inhaling the intoxicating fragrance, with my eyes closed and a smile on my face, for a long while. Hoping all the loved ones I have lost over the years are swaying with me in celebration.

    I can hear the robins and the starlings welcoming a sun-filled spring day as I walk through Inglewood bird sanctuary hand-in-hand with my little niece. We all pause at the bridge to admire a vibrant wood duck; all the little ones exclaim “look, look!”, while all the adults meet their wonder. I look around to admire friends and family that have witnessed so much of my life.

    I can’t help but feel nourished to have a community that wants to celebrate my milestones and invest in my expansion through the seasons.

    This year I had the opportunity to write a short story for an anthology that honoured my lived experience while infusing feminist fantasy genre to dive in deeper as a writer, a behavioral scientist, and a woman.

    Three things I learned: Dedicating early mornings to write in Costa Rica while listening to the ocean, trees, birds and animals ignited a different part of my brain. I learned to navigate points of importance for myself and points of reveal for the reader in the story. Collective writing genuinely deepens contributive belonging.

    Two things that surprised me: I found auto-fiction liberating as it allowed me to play in the writing process. Just how quickly my inner questionings found their way in to the story.

    One question I am thinking about: Which story am I going to reimagine next?

    You are invited to the book launch celebration!

  • Las tres hermanas

    Las tres hermanas

    One chilly autumn night, the three of us sat around reflecting under these little indoor twinkling lights. As we admired a quiet street outside covered in leaves while sipping a giant milkshake with three straws, Priya asked Athena and I about five significant events in our lives. She described it as any experience that has changed the course of our lives permanently. When I started to think back, I was reminded of being truly grateful for an abundance of experiences that have forever impacted my perspective but even more  blessed for family and friends from all over the world that have allowed me to share in their inimitable events and took part in mine.

    An experience that  stretched my whole being and formed an undeniable place in my soul; when I screamed at the top of my lungs as the three of us felt a 15 ft sudden drop speeding up and down those massive sand hills. The driver laughed hysterically at my unpleasant surprise of what I thought a sand buggy ride would be in the  Peruvian desert. Apparently it was time to face my fear of heights, right outside the little oasis town of Huacachina aka home for a chilling gang of street dogs. In those frightening moments of several unexpected drops; I had to surrender to my fear , shout it out, let go of any control and put my trust in the driver. And I promise gently consistent fearlessness will trickle in.

    Another time during the trip we had to completely give up control and practice our fearlessness was that stomach churning bus ride up to Machu Picchu. A magnificent ancient civilization, sits comfortably among the clouds looking down at millions of explorers wandering from one exquisite place to another in search of their ultimate treasure. I, an explorer found a part of my treasure that day as I stood on that peak and felt those Peruvian clouds in my hands. My heart roared strong words and my mind repeated them undoubtedly, that “no dream is  bigger than you”.

    And with this epiphany, came rushing in overwhelming restlessness of seeking, understanding and doing everything I can to live out all my dreams. My mind was working overtime planning every step leading into 5-10 years of my future,when it suddenly came to a halt. The exotic creatures, colors, sounds, smells and the continuous sweating in the densely green and fully alive amazonian jungle demanded my undivided attention. And as I swayed in the hammock and dimmed the lantern until it was completely dark in our cabana, stillness washed over me.  During the nights while the monkey grunts, snake hisses and macaw squawks filled the rain forest, it was in these quiet hours that I found peace, a reminder to slow down and felt the courage to be present now.expo-athenabday-peru-900

    Photo by a Condor travel guide.

  • The Blues

    The Blues

    I fight the days when an abundance of love around me, does not seem to stop me from thinking about the wrongs that were done to me. All the hurt that I had labelled as the past came, rushing to the surface and threatened to consume my present and created fear for my future. Even though I had forgiven it, them and myself, healing is a continuum that demands a lifetime.
    Darkness slowly creeps in by blaming others and then an exhausting battle begins as I try and push it out of mind, wishing to push it out of my life but at last it settles comfortably within my control as I blame myself, convinced that I might have deserved it or I could have chosen a different path. The scars that only I can see and feel weigh heavily.

    My whole being turns to prayer and is soon reminded of our Creator’s eternal grace and unconditional acceptance, as I hear a sparrow sing of joy outside my window, in tune with my heart beating of hope and my soul with no hesitation starts to sway in resilience. The darkness fades, as I can now feel the rays of sun on my face and deeply breathe in a new day. I train myself time and time again to surrender to all my dark and light experiences, to cherish them equally and to grow stronger roots for tomorrow. I am reminded of all that I have been given and all that I have conquered to keep moving towards fulfilling my mighty purpose.
    “Give me your heart, let your eyes find happiness in my ways.” Proverbs 23:26

  • Modern Reserves

    Modern Reserves

    “Step out of that part of the city where you see more of your culture, your own color of people, because its safe and familiar and create a world celebrating and learning the unfamiliar.” Anshu

    As I stare and smile at the beaming silver light from the perfectly shaped moon. I look at all the houses that receive equal view of this mysterious round thing. Everything from my window seems so still and quiet in the dark of night. Everyone craving their rest from the day they experienced and survived.
    As I reflect in this quiet hour, I can vividly see a shooting star and the same perfectly scarred moon as I lay in my mosquito protected bed. While Dada hums and Dadi starts her snoring in our veranda. We are surrounded by giant trees and their leaves that move like monsters to the gentle breeze. I whisper a quick prayer for all of our protection and thank God for blessing me with such fearless, loving and kind people around me.
    Soon I am brought back to my room in Calgary, Canada with Pepsi (our dog) barking downstairs. I remember when he was just six months old; my mom and my sister fell instantly in love with him on a street in Phnom Penh, Cambodia in the year 2000 . We chose to invest in him and he brings healing to our family everyday. So invest in each other beyond borders. Comfort is overrated, instead contentment within; anywhere, anytime and with anyone is worth achieving.
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    Photo by Anshu Stephen